Men and women face uniquely different challenges when filing for divorce. To find the proper representation as a woman, you should make sure that your lawyer understands and will fight for the most important things to you regarding the divorce.
Domestic Violence
Women are oftentimes victims of domestic violence and adultery, and if you are a victim of one of these things, these are things that your lawyer should be aware of so that you can get the care and protection that you need. Even with limited proof, if you are a victim of domestic violence, you should find a lawyer who can make a strong case and present it clearly in a courtroom. Your lawyer should be proactive in obtaining a restraining order for you and keeping you safe throughout the process of the divorce.
Getting Custody
Even if your husband was never abusive throughout the course of your marriage, if you file for divorce it might upset your husband. In this case, a restraining order may be necessary. The lawyer that you choose should also be capable of making a good case for you so that you can get custody of your children. In most cases, the children from a marriage do live with their mothers after divorce, however, you could lose custody of your children. Having a lawyer who is proactive and intent on preventing this from happening is important.
Just like anyone filing for a divorce, you should make sure that you carefully choose your divorce lawyer because they will play a major part in determining the outcome of the case, especially if it goes to court. Consider education, training, experience, reputation, and how comfortable you feel with your lawyer. Making a list of what you require of your lawyer is important since each case is different and the clearer you present to a lawyer what you want, the easier it will be for that lawyer to help you get it.
Housing Options for Stay at Home Moms After Divorce
Because divorce will mean that you are no longer entitled to your spouse’s income, where you can afford to live might drastically change. If this is the case, it is important to focus on finding a place to stay that you can afford and adjusting to this change as best as you can. In some cases, women have no problem keeping up their standard of living after divorce. This is because a growing number of women are the breadwinners in their families, and they have a stable and substantial financial income independent from their husbands.
However, this is not the case for all women. Many women choose to stay at home to raise their kids, or only work part-time to ensure that they are available if their children need them. If you are a woman with little or no income independent from your spouse, refinancing your marital home so that you can remain in it might be a difficult process. Regardless, it is not impossible. Here are some options that you should consider.
Independent Finances
It is important to focus on finding a place to stay that you can afford and adjusting to this change as best as you can.
- Get a job. If you’re looking to continue living in your marital home but you are a stay at home mom, paying for the mortgage on your own will be difficult. In order to make these payments on time, it is important that you go back to work. If you find that you can’t compete in today’s job market, consider going back to school. While this is an expensive and time-consuming option, it is a good investment for the future. Eventually, you should be able to make enough money to pay off your mortgage.
- Look to your ex for help. Upon divorce, you’re entitled to maintain the standard of living that you and your children have grown accustomed to. In some cases, this might mean that a judge will award spousal support, some of which can go toward paying off the mortgage on the home. Even if a judge does not award spousal support, if you and your ex are on good terms, he might be willing to help you with the mortgage anyway.
- Look to downsize. While you might have your heart set on refinancing your home and continuing to live there, the reality of your situation might mean that you just can’t afford to do so at this stage in your life. Finding a more affordable home or apartment might not be your first choice, but it might make the most sense financially. In a few years, when you have saved money and built up your credit, it might be a better time to buy a larger house and take on the responsibility of a mortgage.
10 Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer for Women
- How can you help me get custody of my children?
- Do you specialize in family law and divorce? If so, how many successful cases have you handled?
- How many years have you in the practice of law for?
- Do you primarily represent men or women when it comes to divorce cases?
- How much success have you seen in both mediation and in the courtroom?
- How do you believe that my financials will be affected once this divorce is over?
- What is your retainer fee?
- What is your hourly rate and how do you primarily bill your clients?
- How familiar are you with this area’s court system and judges?
- How long do you think my divorce case will take to be completed?
Connecticut Divorce for a Stay at Home Mom
If you are a stay at home mom and you want to file for divorce, you might feel like you don’t have much power in your relationship. You might be afraid that a judge will not give you custody of your children because you have no job and it seems as though you will have a difficult time providing for your children. However, if you are in this situation, you do have options. With the help a lawyer, you can get child support and find ways to get a job, even if you have been out of work for a long time.
Keeping the Kids
Firstly, if you are a stay at home mom and you are worried about supporting your children after a divorce, find a good attorney to help you get through the divorce. A divorce attorney is experienced in cases such as your and can help you to get certain things out of the divorce that will make your life easier once you are a single parent. Your lawyer can help you to get child support and possibly alimony. This will help you to support your children as you try to go back to school or find a job to support your children. You will still be able to receive financial support from your ex, and this will take some of the pressure off of you as you try to provide for your children.
Another concern that you might have as a stay at home mother is that your spouse will fight you for custody rights and will win. This can be an overwhelming thought, but try not to panic. Many stay at home mothers go through divorce and are able to still keep custody of their children. If you do not have a job or a license, you will want to start working on these things immediately. Try to get a resume together as soon as possible, consider your strengths, and begin looking for a job.
Even if you do get child support from your ex, you will need to go back to work in order to fully support your children and yourself. Finding a job might be a lengthy and difficult process, but you will be able to support your children in the future, especially if you are proactive.