Marriages end for many reasons, and if you face divorce, it is important to consider all of the events that may have contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. However, there is one common reason for divorce that you might be experiencing right now. Adultery is one common factor in divorce that can be especially painful. If you are the victim of a cheating spouse, you are likely devastated. You might not be able to see how you will recover from this betrayal. However, it is important to keep in mind that you will recover. To assist you in this process, I’ve written this post. Learn more about recovering from a cheating spouse here.
Immediately following your knowledge of the adultery, you might feel a whole range of different emotions. You might be angry and sad. Or, you might be in denial that this actually happened. You might initially feel that you and your spouse can work through it, or you might immediately believe that this is the end of your marriage. No matter what your initial reactions and emotions are, allow yourself to feel them. Don’t push the emotions away or try to ignore the problem.
As painful as it is, you need to consider what happened and what it means for your marriage. If you need some space from your spouse to process things, take it. But eventually, you and your spouse should communicate about what happened and why. This will likely be a painful conversation, but it will help you understand how to move forward.
Weighing Your Options
At this time, you need to figure out what is best for you and your family. Plenty of couples survive an affair, but it is also certainly a contributor to divorce. Talk to your spouse about what happened. You should feel free to ask any questions that you have about what happened and tell your spouse about how you feel. If your spouse is open to having this conversation, you both may be able to work on the marriage and get past what happened.
On the other hand, there can be things that are too difficult to come back from in a marriage. An affair can be one of those things. If you just don’t think that you can work through adultery, you need to start thinking about divorce and what this will mean for your family. Do you have children with your spouse? Do you own property or a business together? Consider what divorce will mean for these factors and others.
Whether you choose to stay with your spouse or not, you need to find a way to move on from the affair. While some things might work better for you than others, here are a few tips to help you recover from adultery:
- Seek professional help. If you just don’t know where to begin, you should consider seeing a therapist. You could attend couple’s therapy or see a therapist on your own.
- Take care of yourself. Make time to see people who you can count on. Lean on your friends and family for support at this time. Treat yourself to a relaxing spa day or doing something that you love to do.
- Establish a good routine. In times of stress or depression, it can be very helpful to have a solid routine to rely on. Make sure that you are getting plenty of sleep, eating healthy food, and exercising regularly. These small changes can make a world of difference in how you feel.
If your marriage is coming to an end due to an affair, you will need help with the divorce process. Please contact my office – we can take the burden off of you and help you with the proceedings.